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Being alone vs. being lonely

Isn’t it ironic how sometimes the people who prefer to be alone are actually the most lonely? Me personally, I think humans are scared of vulnerability. Never letting anyone see them hurt. Which is why we tend to do many things alone. Humans tend to die alone, to be in the condition of sickness alone, to cry alone…but share happiness with others? It is only during those points of weakness and the feeling of lowness that we tend to be alone. So in a sense, whenever we are around people, it is usually when we are happy. We all cry. In one point of our whole life, we have cried at least once. Every single person on the planet has cried once in their life. So why is it something we tend to conceal? People tend to want to be alone in their time of suffering. I think it is because we all have this image of a normal external average person. Someone that smiles, talks, laughs. This condition of wanting to be alone has infected all of us. It is said that sometimes, the worst kind of hell is the one in which you are left alone with just you and your mind and it’s thoughts. But sometimes, this can be the most peaceful kind of place to be in. How can this be hell when meditation is also like this? When a person meditates, it is just you, your body, your mind, and your thoughts. All left free flowing and allowed to wander and roam. To many that meditate, this is bliss. So how can being alone ever be hell? I think it is really up to the condition in which you are in. I’ve read a quote once that said “Get comfortable being alone without being lonely” being alone does not mean that you don’t have anyone in your life, it means you choose to make yourself your first person that you can rely on. I think the only way that we can truly learn to be with others, is to be alone first. You and your thoughts, your consciousness, your body…when you are alone all these things come to harmony. If you can never be comfortable with just being alone with yourself, how do you suppose you’ll be comfortable with anyone else? Knowing yourself, being fully conscious of who you are as a person can change so much within and outside of you. Being alone will teach you to be with others.


-Astha Soni March 11th, 2019.


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