Have you ever noticed that when people list the things they’re thankful for, its always the good things? It’s always things like their family friends, all their good memories, etc… But what about the negatives? When we experience something bad or tragic that happens to us, we always say ‘why me?’ And question why all the bad things seem to be happening to only us. We never ask the question of ‘why me?’ When things in our life is going good. Both in a negative or positive situation, we tend to always forget about the other side of things. When we make a list of things we’re thankful for, its always the same good things. Yes, it is important to be thankful for these things as they have helped us grow and become better people, but so have the negatives. Remember that one thing you thought you would never get over a month ago? Look at you now. Now you’re able to look back and realize the situation wasn’t as bad as it had seemed in the moment. Because of that one breakup you went through, you’re more cautious of how you spend your energy in a relationship. Because of that one friend that you considered close hurt you, now you’re able to identify your real friends and distance yourself from those are friends. Every negative thing you have experienced in your life has made you better, stronger, and smarter. There is a saying that says you have survived 100% of the bad days you experience. Every situation you thought you wouldn’t make it through, you did. Every relationship you thought you would never recover from, you did. Look at you! You’re here, reading my blog. Every positive and negative thing in your life has led you here, to where you are now. And THATS something to be thankful. You know that one feeling when someone hurts you so bad all you feel for them is anger? Your blood boils just thinking about them, you question yourself why you even allowed yourself to let someone like that in your life. I know all of us have had at least one person that we question why they did us the way they did. Once they leave us and cut ties, that feeling of anger grows and all we can focus on is how much they hurt us. I’ve done this too. I’ve allowed myself to be hung up on every single thing people did wrong to me that I completely forget about the fact that just a couple months ago, I used to praise them and think of them so highly. Negative perspectives lead to negative situations. The more we hate on people, question their actions, and have negative opinions towards them, the more the universe will reciprocate this feeling and make them even more negative in our minds. We have the power to change this perspective. I know it is a lot easier said than done. But the first step to do this is to say at least one positive thing about them. Give them a compliment in your head. Think of one time they made you smile. This obviously wont make that feeling of hatred vanish, but it will encourage you to think of them as more of a human than a feeling of pure hatred. Once we start treating these people as actual people, we start to understand their outlook on the situation. This Thanksgiving, say thank you to all of the people and situations that have hurt you. Think of one lesson that each has taught you. Be grateful that because of them, now you know what not to do and what you want for yourself. Say thank you to all the failed relationships, fake friends, hurtful situations, broken hearts, and moments that you sat alone and cried. I know what it’s like to sit for hours and question what was wrong with yourself that all of these bad things keep happening to you. But reality is, as you go through these bad situations, you’ll realize that it is not something WRONG with you, it is more of how you view and react to the situation and your perspective. I’m thankful for all the people that made me doubt my worth, because now I realize the way I deserve to be treated and don’t expect anything less. If you have ever hurt me, stopped talking to me, ignored me, made me cry….Thank you. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for making me realize my strength. I wish you the very best and I hope you grow and continue to learn. To everyone, I wish you a very happy thanksgiving. I really hope you all think about the things you’re grateful for. Remember, whatever is taken for granted can also be taken away. Appreciate each and everything that has led you to where you are now. Both positive and negative. Happy Holidays! I love you.
- Astha Soni
December 3rd 2019